first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
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