I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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