she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
