I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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