It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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