We got so high we made milksteak
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
