Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
