Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Randomize
