GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
