I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
