pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
