you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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