is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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