Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
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