I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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