He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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