Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(419): View more from Ohio

having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

birth control should be required to get into college

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom

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(512): View more from Texas

Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice

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These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Read it at the TFLN blog
(417): View more from Missouri

Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.

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(775): View more from Nevada

Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.

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(419): View more from Ohio

I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.

(1-419): View more from Ohio

Dreams are coming true for both of us.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.

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(703): View more from Virginia

*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*

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