when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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