I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.