Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today