she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.