Texts From Last Night

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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?

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  (860): i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty? http://tfl.nu/lnd6
  Replies (42) Good night (1591) Bad night (3659) Order T-Shirt
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.

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  (504): All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself. http://tfl.nu/wwab
  Replies (45) Good night (834) Bad night (7088) Order T-Shirt
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.

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  (225): Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING. http://tfl.nu/893j
  Replies (9) Good night (5571) Bad night (627) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.

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  (541): i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis. http://tfl.nu/2bxd
  Replies (35) Good night (1063) Bad night (7983) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me

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  (405): Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me http://tfl.nu/44om
  Replies (19) Good night (5089) Bad night (1596) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor

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  (804): For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor http://tfl.nu/12jc
  Replies (5) Good night (4330) Bad night (709)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...

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  (325): She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised... http://tfl.nu/ztyt
  Replies (38) Good night (3886) Bad night (2119) Order T-Shirt
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.

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  (575): I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time. http://tfl.nu/x351
  Replies (6) Good night (2017) Bad night (825) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I hate when that happens

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  (717): Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again (443): I hate when that happens http://tfl.nu/8tar
  Replies (2) Good night (1474) Bad night (1000)
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  (415): View more from California

  Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.

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  (415): Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited. http://tfl.nu/jdnb
  Replies (24) Good night (5195) Bad night (869) Order T-Shirt
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle

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  (226): The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle http://tfl.nu/jqp1
  Replies (3) Good night (652) Bad night (699) Order T-Shirt
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?

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  (312): When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad? http://tfl.nu/0o5n
  Replies (14) Good night (1329) Bad night (783) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that

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  (918): Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that http://tfl.nu/h4ec
  Replies (4) Good night (1397) Bad night (559) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.

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  (412): I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass. http://tfl.nu/ocdo
  Replies (7) Good night (721) Bad night (531) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok

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  (315): Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok http://tfl.nu/1uoa
  Replies (1) Good night (391) Bad night (789)

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