Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
