so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
