i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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