Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Randomize
