you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Randomize
