somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
So vagazzling was a success
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