I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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