"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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