where am i from again
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
