Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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