In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
