wake up i wanna do it froggy style
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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