im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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