U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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