nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
