"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
The Olympian is in my bed
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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