Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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