watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
