I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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