but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
