Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
