I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
