i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My penis needs a shock collar
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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