Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Just cropdusted the office
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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