tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
