could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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