please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
