She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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