the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
