Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
