Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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