She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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