If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My first STD was from a foam party
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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