i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
