Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
