I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
