Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
