If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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