Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
