i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
