You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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