She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
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