oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
This beer is not sobering me up at all
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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