bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
