First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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