have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
