maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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