i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
