There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
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Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
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I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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