dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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