I'd wear matching sweaters with you
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
