I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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